Questions to Ask About Caring For Elderly Parents in Your Home

Oct 4, 2013

By Staff Writer State Farm™ Employee

Caring for elderly parents in your home can be a big change and a challenge. One way to help ease the transition is to make physical alterations some minor, some potentially major to your living environment in order to make things easier, safer, and less stressful for everyone.

Different people age differently, with different concerns and needs. The alterations you may want to make to your home will depend on things like the mobility, vision, and cognitive ability of your elderly parents. Other factors, such as your financial resources and your home's structure and layout, will also affect how much you can do.

First, Get an Accurate Sense of Your Elderly Parent's Abilities and Needs

  • Observe them around their home or yours. How steady are they when moving around? How comfortable are they navigating stairs and in the bathroom? Do they have trouble seeing and finding things? Are they able to easily do things you might take for granted, like opening doors, turning on faucets, and reaching shelves and cupboards?
  • Talk to their physician or other caregivers. Learn more about their specific health issues such as mobility, vision, hearing, and cognition. (Note: You'll need to check with their health care providers to see what type of permission or documentation they will require in order for them to share your parent's private health information with you.
  • Take specific steps when dealing with dementia. If your parent suffers from some degree of dementia or cognitive impairment, you may need to take extra, more intensive steps to make your home safe and comforting for them. It could mean drastically altering access around your home to things like automobiles and appliances. For more information, check out resources such as these living with dementia guides from Care & Repair (PDF) and The Journey Home.

Next, See What Changes May Be Needed in Order to Care for Elderly Parents in Your Home

It may be useful to hire an occupational therapist or other expert such as a nurse or physical therapist to assess your home. If that's not possible, consider asking another elderly person to take a look at your living area through their eyes. Getting a third party's insight into needed changes can be more honest and useful than what you may or may not hear from your parent, who might be unaware of or embarrassed to admit their limitations, or afraid of being too much of a "burden" on you.

Some modifications to consider making:

Around the House

  • Find out which doorways and hallways in your home are wide enough to accommodate wheelchairs and/or walkers if necessary.
  • Use strong, high-wattage bulbs and consider replacing older fluorescent lighting with incandescent lighting. (Fluorescent lights that flicker or create glare can be hard on aging eyes.)
  • Replace round doorknobs with lever handles that are easier to open.
  • Consider removing or covering up floor surfaces that could become slippery or cause tripping, including tile floors (especially in the kitchen and bathrooms), raised doorway thresholds, loose rugs, and carpet with a deep or uneven shag.
  • Move power and extension cords well out of the way and tape them down to avoid tripping.

In the Kitchen and Laundry Room

  • Make sure light switches, cabinets, drawers, and appliances are at a comfortable level for someone who is seated and/or cannot easily bend down or reach up.
  • Put strip lighting under cabinets to provide more counter-top light.
  • Get clocks, phones, thermostats, and appliances with larger, brighter buttons and numbers or digital displays.
  • Lower your water heater temperature or install scald-proof faucets.

In the Bathroom

  • Replace fixed showerheads with flexible, hand-held heads.
  • Replace glass shower doors with curtains.
  • Put shower seats in the bathtub or shower as well as non-slip mats or tape.
  • Make sure there's a night-light in place and a well-lit path from your parent's bedroom.
  • Install special rails or equipment in the bathroom, including raised toilet seats and bars and handles to aid with getting up and down.

In the Bedroom

  • You may need to buy a new bed for your parent, rent or lease a hospital bed, or install bed rails and/or grab bars.
  • Set up an intercom or communication system, perhaps using a baby monitor.
  • Have working smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors near the bedroom and a special firefighter alert sticker for the bedroom window.
  • Make sure you can keep their sleeping area warm enough without using a space heater.

In Stairways

  • Decide if you can you convert a ground floor room into your parent's bedroom, or if you may need to install an elevator or motorized stair lift chair to an upper floor.
  • Check to see if you need new or additional handrails on stairs. If you already have handrails, make sure they're strong enough.
  • Have two-way light switches at the top and bottom of stairways.
  • Put down special bright-contrast tape at the edge of each step.

Outside the Home

  • Fix uneven, cracked, or damaged outdoor walkways and consider replacing cobblestones or stepping-stones in the yard or garden.
  • Install wheelchair ramps in the garage or driveway as necessary.
  • Make sure entranceways, locks, and doorbells are well lit at night.

Go Over Your Budget to See What Modifications are Financially Realistic

Those checklists can be daunting, but chances are you won't have to do everything, and certainly not all at once. Not everyone can afford to completely remodel when caring for elderly parents in their home, but shop around and compare contractor and building costs as well as the cost of new or used equipment and its installation.

Research what Medicare will and will not cover, and then talk with your financial advisor to see if grants or loans are available for home adaptation. Also remember that having an extra person living in your home will affect your family's usual monthly budget when it comes to food, transportation, and supply costs.

Prepare for Emotional Challenges as Well

Finally, no matter how many physical modifications you make, caring for elderly parents in your home can be an emotional strain on both you and them. You will both be sacrificing some of your independence and privacy; they may also be worried about being a burden, while you might fear you don't have the proper knowledge or experience to properly care for them. Be sure to communicate with each other as much as possible, and don't be afraid to ask outside experts for advice, support, or counseling.

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